rumours is such a great album

is it possible to have more self-hate for oneself than i do for myself? where are you and when can i meet you? and also, while we're at it, could you bring the beer?

all i have wanted to do for the past (we'll call it) ten days is sit alone and cry. and i haven't been able to. i am at work nearly all the time and i feel like any given moment now, someone is going to look at me the wrong/right way and i will start bawling on the spot. it is so humiliating feeling this way. it's been so long since i've allowed myself to feel so vulnerable. and i've taken it too far. it doesn't even make sense at this point.

i don't know where it all stems from. but here's a list of possible factors:
- unrequited love. in every god damn sense of the god damn word.
- lack of appreciation
- lack of deserved attention, i guess, is a better way of describing that
- lack of funds
- lack of partying
- lack of friends
- lack of direction.

this has happened on more than one occasion in the span of two months where i talk crap about someone else because they're hitting on my best friend, and soon after, that person i talked to them about it is doing the same god damn thing. i don't think there is anyone on this earth who would like to listen to a single thing i have to say.

which i should add to the list:
- lack of brain because why did i say all those things to you?

on the plus side, i just applied for a new position. so god damn nervous.





all i want to do is listen to sad music in the dark by myself and cry.

naked juice is the tits. this stuff is so good.

sam weir

I have recently taken it upon myself to take the little time I have before I must get ready for work to play around with ze bloggy. So (almost) everything is new! That was fun. I could use more fun in my days lately.

I was tricked into thinking I had a day off finally. My supervisor called me and asked if I could work since someone called out. This was me:

Working there.. I can tell it gets very clique-y. I don't know how much I like that aspect of it. Maybe it's because they're so young. Not that I'm old at 23, but there is a large gap in between my 23, and about five of their 18-19-20.

Now, I am getting lost in the sounds of Mr. Ocean and the nostalgia of flipping through images I've once captured when I lived in LA and thought I was so cool taking all these cool pictures. No. They were ok.

Aw, man. Until next time. Please know I haven't reached happiness quite yet, but I can sense it is in my not too distant future.