Rye

So I babysat my nephew today. This lil' dude is so stinkin' cute......

Oswaldo

The love of my life Miguel is moving to Santa Cruz Friday morning. I think I have been waiting to bond with him since I found out about his trip which is around the time I announced I was moving back. And I've spent much time with him since but that bond I was searching for was missing each night. I learned more about him and tried to distance myself because this group, the group listed below in pictures, has hurt me before. Because first and foremost if you are not in the core group, it is so easy to forget about you.

He texted everyone to meet him at the loading docks, where they have hung out for a lifetime it seems. A lot of people running in and out throughout the years, skateboard after skateboard, beer after beer, smoke after smoke. This new addition, I like. I always like when music is involved. But tonight I felt myself distance myself even more from them, perhaps unnecessarily but undeniable at the same time. Sometimes you just feel like you are not friends. Sometimes you just know. This is a constant battle I've always had since I ever started caring for friends. About age twelve I would say. Is it insecurity? Obviously, but I feel there is more to it than that.

Since he has been packing box after box, he threw a bunch of things in his car that he could give away. I ended up with the most loot ha ha: A hat that fits perfectly. A small Mexican flag which is really cute. A mushroom candle. A guitar case that fits snug on a guitar I haven't touched in at least seven years. And my favorite was a box that was perfect enough for a box of cigarettes (complete with cupcake detail):

How, then, was it in the last few seconds in that good-bye, did I finally get the bonding time I wanted. In that Miguel sort of embrace I am so familiar to. Perhaps it felt real this time. It wasn't a "see you tomorrow" generic type-a bullshit hug I always get. I don't know why it was different, and why this is dragged out in 4 paragraphs when all I am talking about is a hug, but it makes all the world to me right now.

Gamma love

The more I look at these pictures, the more I feel like these aren't my friends. And the more I take the time to edit them, the more I hate them. This is not where I want my life to be, but alas, here they are.

Andrew's birthday:

bbq on the hottest day of the year:

Escondido, you are something else.

nooM tsevraH

via Jasmine



But there's a full moon risin'
Let's go dancin' in the light
We know where the music's playin'
Let's go out and feel the night

Because I'm still in love with you
I want to see you dance again
Because I'm still in love with you
On this harvest moon.