I think it's funny that some people have a blog to write somewhere that is "private"...... BUT THIS IS THE INTERNET, BRO! Not a darn thing is private. And sometimes you learn that the hard way.
I am trying to fight the fact that I am listening to fun.'s new album so I can try to express every last emotion I am feeling, but I can't! The desire to dance. Is. Too. Strong.
I am bothered that I have all this film to develop, but no means or modes of transportation to take me to get them developed. I am also bothered that my macaroni tasted like crap today. I am annoyed that Midnight In Paris didn't get more Oscar nods, but everyone in the Academy is at least 87 years old, probably. I am annoyed that Rick Santorum exists. I am bothered that I cannot channel anything inside me to even try to write in prose. Everything I am currently typing is the result of thoughts from my brain vomiting its way out through my fingers onto this keyboard, onto this screen. And onto your eyeballs assuming you've made it this far. (Kudos.)
I don't know why people are going crazy over "Somebody That I Used To Know" by Gotye. I can't find anything too interesting about the song, and the best part is the verse the girl sings.
Maybe it's a good thing that I currently can't allow myself to be vulnerable. It's a strange feeling though. Recently my friend had complained about family troubles and it made me think about myself and how my family troubles all seemed to have disappeared for a bit. Perhaps it is because I have not seen or talked to them in a few days or so, but I think I'll take it.
Since our TV can connect to the Internet, I decided to youtube Kenny songs since I got word that he released a new demo. And my mom came downstairs in the middle of it and saw the screen which just said "WAKING UP by DAPHNE LOVES DERBY" and so my mom looks at me and goes, "Who is that? I know them..." -___- My mother doesn't know me at all. Well, Mother, perhaps you recognize that name because I have only been obsessed with them since I was 13. (Mostly from the time I was 13 all the way to, say, about 16, but still clearly and unfortunately devoted.) And you've driven Christine and I to Huntington Beach so we could watch them play a second time in a row. Like a boss.
Also in the midst of discovering how this "Youtube on TV" thing works, I was able to experience Daphne in a way I never have before and it was quite refreshing. I wish I knew of a way to describe it. I took to my twitter but it was too much to handle, I am so embarrassed by how crazy I got. Which reminds me, why did I take Julian to see Kenny with me? Ugh, gross.
I am thinking about you a lot more frequently and while I don't like it, it almost doesn't hurt as badly. Also this strange time in my life, I feel like I am void of a lot of feelings. Like, I don't even remember what it feels like to have something to look forward to. I don't remember what it feels like to look at someone's smile and feel giddy over it, and then giggle uncontrollably. I don't want to say I am numb, because I'm not down. I am just void of human emotion these days, which sucks. Having crushes was fun, man. It wasn't anything serious, it was just something that distracted me from all the Julian shit. And while we can say we still keep in touch, it's not like we have anything to really say to each other. I miss getting to know someone, having any sort of connection, with anybody. I will say that I find it easier to talk to girls than to boys.. which sort of surprised me, but not really at the same time.
A lot of my current friends are jerks. Robert and Willow can really be assholes sometimes. Or at least the time frame I can accept being around them together is getting smaller. Because they're always the same, but I guess once they do the same stuff enough times, it starts to really irk you.
There was this dude at Tim's the other night and I thought he was cute but maybe it was his eyebrows, but it was because he somewhat sort of looks like Chris Carrabba and then I've decided he really wasn't cute. But also because he looked douchey.
Also the finale of Six Feet Under was beautifully executed. Not the entire finale, but mainly the last few minutes. And of fucking course they had to do that in the tune of Sia's "Breathe Me" which makes just about everyone want to kill themselves.
Mumford & Sleep. Okay then.
